I happened to travel a lot the last week. Do not know about you, but travelling between 3 places within a week is a lot for me. And as ever, I tried to be observant plus a genuine thinker. The latter quality is inherited from my zodiac sign - The Pisces. But how would I think lest I observe. Thus, I did both and one thing which still haunts me is how Indian parents are insecure when it comes to their children. Okay, I stand corrected. I should say "how most Indian parents are insecure when it comes to their children". Here are some incidents which made me think on these lines:
1. Newark Liberty International Airport, Newark, NJ. It was 7.30 PM and I was waiting for my flight boarding announcement. A couple supposedly from South India appeared with the younger kid in a pram, the elder in the mother's arms. They looked tensed; although they were at the right place before time, they seemed lost. The head of the family confirmed twice with the local authorities and looked still more confused. Then the unthinkable happened. While the mother was sitting and dozing off, the child somehow made his way out of her arms, and started walking towards an American child who was playing with her parents. As he reached there, the American couple smiled at him and started some kid-conversation with him. Seeing this, the Indian child's father was furious, shouted at his wife, ran towards his child, picked him up, chided him until his adam's apple allowed him to, walked angrily back to his seat and held the weeping child tightly against him. The american couple was shocked to see such an unlikely action from a parent. I concluded that the father was happier to see his child weeping rather than let him play happily. My conclusion was wrong. The reason why the father had to do that was because talking to strangers is still a no-no and how could the child do anything without taking permission of his parents? Indian parents are no doubt the best in the world, but they are very protective. They feel they have the rights to mould their child's life in whatever way they would want. Even if it makes the child more scared and unsocial. They are full of prejudice and are judgemental. But why this insecurity? Why do not Indians let their children enjoy as much as they like and not be so protective?
2. MES Inspection House, Brigade Road, Bangalore. I do not remember the time and it is rather irrelevant to even mention it. My aunt has a 11 year old son who is the most bright and sharp kid I have ever come across for his age. While he was playing Need For Speed on my laptop, which also he is a great player of, I heard someone shout his name. Who else, but his mother. She then fixed her gaze on me and asked me to tell him to study. It was a time when everybody was on a vacation and I think it is unrealistic to ask children to study on vacations. Even though my fiancee is of the opinion that children should be chided from time to time, I am an ardent supporter of the fact that giving freedom to children and their thoughts would make them even more responsible and better human beings. But here I was being confronted by my own aunt who wanted her child to stop playing "stupid" computer games and study something if not his curriculum books. Something? Insecurity again huh! What if he does not fair well in his studies(he is already obtaining 85% marks, he should not get 80 this time) ? Could he be a game addict and loose concentration in studies? Now, give me a break. Isn't he studying while playing? Isn't he being more observant and trying to be more concentrating while playing the car game where even a fraction of a second could make him loose the race? So much of protection and kill a child's talent and that is what is happening in India where a child has got all the bookish knowledge he needs to attend an IIT or Stanford, but lacks talent.
1. Newark Liberty International Airport, Newark, NJ. It was 7.30 PM and I was waiting for my flight boarding announcement. A couple supposedly from South India appeared with the younger kid in a pram, the elder in the mother's arms. They looked tensed; although they were at the right place before time, they seemed lost. The head of the family confirmed twice with the local authorities and looked still more confused. Then the unthinkable happened. While the mother was sitting and dozing off, the child somehow made his way out of her arms, and started walking towards an American child who was playing with her parents. As he reached there, the American couple smiled at him and started some kid-conversation with him. Seeing this, the Indian child's father was furious, shouted at his wife, ran towards his child, picked him up, chided him until his adam's apple allowed him to, walked angrily back to his seat and held the weeping child tightly against him. The american couple was shocked to see such an unlikely action from a parent. I concluded that the father was happier to see his child weeping rather than let him play happily. My conclusion was wrong. The reason why the father had to do that was because talking to strangers is still a no-no and how could the child do anything without taking permission of his parents? Indian parents are no doubt the best in the world, but they are very protective. They feel they have the rights to mould their child's life in whatever way they would want. Even if it makes the child more scared and unsocial. They are full of prejudice and are judgemental. But why this insecurity? Why do not Indians let their children enjoy as much as they like and not be so protective?
2. MES Inspection House, Brigade Road, Bangalore. I do not remember the time and it is rather irrelevant to even mention it. My aunt has a 11 year old son who is the most bright and sharp kid I have ever come across for his age. While he was playing Need For Speed on my laptop, which also he is a great player of, I heard someone shout his name. Who else, but his mother. She then fixed her gaze on me and asked me to tell him to study. It was a time when everybody was on a vacation and I think it is unrealistic to ask children to study on vacations. Even though my fiancee is of the opinion that children should be chided from time to time, I am an ardent supporter of the fact that giving freedom to children and their thoughts would make them even more responsible and better human beings. But here I was being confronted by my own aunt who wanted her child to stop playing "stupid" computer games and study something if not his curriculum books. Something? Insecurity again huh! What if he does not fair well in his studies(he is already obtaining 85% marks, he should not get 80 this time) ? Could he be a game addict and loose concentration in studies? Now, give me a break. Isn't he studying while playing? Isn't he being more observant and trying to be more concentrating while playing the car game where even a fraction of a second could make him loose the race? So much of protection and kill a child's talent and that is what is happening in India where a child has got all the bookish knowledge he needs to attend an IIT or Stanford, but lacks talent.
6 comments:
You will know when the time comes.
yes!! i agree with neeraj....u will know when the time comes....and secondly, all Indian parents are not insecure......there is a vast difference between insecurity and worrying abt ur child's future......and people living in India need to do that because they know that without studying hard there is no future in India......stop criticizing Indian people and generalizing them for God's sake!
and also I would say that ur fiancé is absolutely right
Ruchir, You are right, Indian parents do net let their child grow as an individual personality. According to them childrens are extention of their dreams & hope which they otherwise couldn't achieve. That is the reason why Indian childrens doesn't have independent views & thinking until they complete their graduation. I agree that now trend has changed a lot & childrens are given much freedom but thgis is true only for handful of metro cities. Urban India is still the same. And Mr anonymous let me tell you that the most successful man is not the one who has highest number of degrees but the one who has independent thinking & positive attitude. If you see around yourself you will find the most succesful is the one who works hard, positive attitude & has original thoughts, & he may not necessarily be a degree holder. But he has capability to employee highly educated professionals.
I think you are being judgmental in how you are viewing the whole thing....its a one sided perspective i belive and I may be wrong......As per the first incident....for the father to chide the child from going astray is justified because a child that small is not capable enough to decide between right and wrong and on aiport may get lost..he can stray....and i guess u can answet that well once ur in his shoes ;)
It's also about parents directing the kids in one direction before deciding to let go when the time is right. Problem is, parents never know when the "right" time is. The "Indian parent" perspective here would probably be that for Indian parents, the right time comes some 20-30 years too late!
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